Five Gruesome Deaths in Classical and Medieval History

Have you ever wanted to know who died the worst in early recorded history, or who had a painful and slow death? Are you also a a fan of true crime podcasts or documentaries? If so, this is the article for you. This article will discuss, in Seeking History’s opinion, some of the most gruesome deaths in recorded history. But first, a note on sources: most of these figures are from ancient or early medieval history, so the primary and secondary source material should be taken with some skepticism. If you are unfamiliar with this concept, ancient or premodern sources either have a bias (all written works have a bias, but historical writing especially had a bias in most of written history), political agenda, or were written decades to centuries later, so they must be taken with skepticism and interpreted for what they are - unreliable sources. That being said, these sources can still be used to inform and educate as there is likely some truth within them, or more realistically, are the only sources we have. Now that is out of the way, on to the death and macabre!

Let us start chronology with our first brutal death: Phalaris, who according to history, and let’s be honest, was a real asshole. Phalaris was a tyrant (sort of a title in Hellenistic civilization to denote a leader) of modern-day Agrigento, Sicily, who met his end around 554 BCE. While there is not a ton of information on the man, amongst the things that Phalaris is accused of, is eating literal babies. Phalaris had ambitions to be the sole tyrant of Sicily but was overthrown by another, named Telemachus. Phalaris, while in charge, commissioned the creation of a novel execution method known as the brazen, Sicilian, or bronze bull. Essentially, it was a bull statue, made entirely of bronze but hollowed out and with a door cut in the side. A person would be placed in the bull, while a fire was lit underneath, roasting them until dead. To make the execution more entertaining, the bull was designed in a way that the screams of the victims could be heard, and made to sound, like the roars of an actual bull, while smoke exited through the bull’s nostrils. The irony of the death of Phalaris is that Telemachus executed him by putting him in his own creation to be roasted alive. Sources allege, that later in history, the bull would be used by the Romans to execute Christians.

Second, we have Manius Aquillius who died in 88 BCE. Aquillius was a Roman consul and general who ran afoul of one of Rome’s early foes, Mithridates VI of Pontus. Aquillius did this by being dispatched to Asia Minor (modern day Turkey) as an ambassador to restore a King of Bithynia to his throne after this King was expelled by Mithridates. While Aquillius was successful in restoring the Bithynia King, he screwed up by encouraging the King to then attack or raid Pontic territory. This action led to the start of the First Mithridatic War and ultimately Aquillius’ brutal death at the hands of Mithridates. Once Mithridates struck back against Bithynia and the Romans, Aquillius utilized a legion of Axillaries (local or foreign Roman soldiers, not full legionaries) to attack Pontic forces but found himself against 100,000 soldiers while he only had a maximum of 6,000. Obviously, Aquillius was defeated, and he attempted to retreat to Italy but was captured on the Greek island of Lesbos and sold or turned over to Pontus. Eventually, after a short trial and a detail of his “crimes” against Pontus, he was executed by having molten gold poured down his throat. You read that right. This method of execution would (maybe) inspire the death of Marcus Crassus forty years later, and 2,000 years later, the fictional death of one of the Targaryens in Game of Thrones. You will see this method pop up in history, usually around the deaths of extremely wealthy individuals or those who tried to purchase their way out of a situation, leading to doubt about the true nature of their deaths as it can be surmised that his method may used as a metaphor for a “comeuppance” to the greedy by the source authors.

Next on our list is Saint Lawrence, who met his gruesome end in 258 CE. Lawrence was made a deacon in the Catholic Church by Pope Sixtus II in 257 at the age of 32. Additionally, Sixtus II trust in Lawrence was so great, he put Lawrence in charge of the treasury and the material wealth that the church possessed. In 258 CE, the Emperor Valerian ordered that all clergy and associated people of the Church be rounded up and executed. Pope Sixtus II himself was captured while giving mass and summarily executed. Once the Pope was dead, the Roman authorities, demanded that St. Lawrence turn over the riches of the Church. Lawrence stated he needed three days to gather the wealth but instead, he worked quickly to distribute as much Church property and riches to the poor and disabled as he could. With the church treasure distributed, Lawrence handed himself in to the authorities. So outraged by the actions of Lawrence, the prefect in charge had a large hot grill or gridiron prepared over scorching coals. Lawrence was thrown on this grill to be executed and essentially cooking him whilst alive. The legend goes that Lawrence, after suffering greatly while being slow cooked to death, shouted “turn me over, I am cooked on this side, and eat!” In regards to attributed sayings or quotes, which always must be treated with suspicion, Seeking History really hopes this one is true, as its pretty badass.

Then, there is the death of the Roman Emperor Valerian. Valerian not only suffered a gruesome fate in the 260s CE (the actual year of his death is unknown), but he also suffered humiliation at the hands of his enemies both in life and death. We get our source of Valerian’s death from the Roman writer/historian Eutropius and from the writer, Lactantius (full disclosure, there is dispute amongst modern historians regarding the veracity of the accounts, even debate on Valerian being mistreated at all). Valerian is not a sympathetic figure, even if his death makes you feel as such. He is known for his brutal religious persecution and is responsible for the death of our previous figure, Saint Lawrence. Valerian attempted to force a military victory over the Sassanid Persian empire, a classic enemy of Rome at this time. Unfortunately for Valerian, his campaign did not go well, and he found himself captured by the Persians. There are conflicting accounts regarding what exactly happened to Valerian, so we are going to share both accounts. They do have some details in common, but the physical death of Valerian has two tales. The Emperor Shapur I of Persia, once capturing Valerian, made it his mission to humiliate and humble his Roman counterpart. According to the sources, Valerian was subject to years of captivity and humiliation, at times being used as a human footstool for the Persian Emperor to mount his horse, and living out his remaining days in a cage. Unable to endure captivity, Valerian offered to personally pay a very large ransom for his release, hoping to be cut free to his Empire. In response to his offer of ransom, Shapur I either had molten gold (we’ve heard this story before) poured down the throat of Valerian, or had Valerian flayed alive. Whatever the method of his death, and here is where it gets really interesting, his corpse or skin was stuffed with straw, dyed with vermillion, and put on display as a trophy in a Persian temple. There are claims that years later, the Persians cremated or buried the stuffed Valerian, but it is unknown exactly what happened to his remains.

Our final death is the death of King Aelle of Northumbria in 867 CE. For those unfamiliar, Northumbria was one of the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms that made up what is now England, before the Norman conquest of 1066 CE. Famously, these Anglo-Saxon kingdoms were constantly beset by Norse (Viking) incursions, with most falling to the Northmen. Aelle is famous in history for his defeat and execution of semi-legendary figure, Ragnar Lodbrok, throwing him into a pit of snakes to be killed. This made him a target of the “sons” of Ragnar (not all likely his sons but claimed lineage to legitimatize their leadership) and their “Great Heathen Army.” Aelle’s death has two very conflicting accounts. The first is is the Anglo-Saxon account, depicting his death as heroic, dying in battle against the Sons of Ragnar and the Great Heathen Army. The second account, is the Norse account, depicting his capture by the Sons of Ragnar, and his death by the infamous torture method, known as the Blood Eagle. The Blood Eagle is, probably, our most gruesome death on the list, so if you are into that sort of thing, I am not sorry for making you wait to the very end. The Blood Eagle is a method where the victim was placed in a face down or prone position, then they are cut open from the back, their ribs cut from the spine with a sharp knife or sword, and their lungs pulled through the opening to create a pair of "wings.” All this is done slowly and usually while the victim is alive. Now, we must state that Blood Eagle may not have been real at all and was a fabrication of contemporary or later Christian writers to denote the brutality of the Northmen foe they were facing. But, if true, it has gone down in history as particularly brutal.